If You Say Yes, What Are You Saying No To?

At #HRRedefined19, my new good friend Laura shared this quote. I thought about it quite a bit this summer as I took on a new set of hiring managers at work, a Girl Scout weekend summer camp, some conferences, AND joining the cast of the local community theater version of Mamma Mia, I was saying Yes to a lot of things.

Every night there was something going on: rehearsal, podcast recording (or editing), various planning meetings (which of course need to be after work as I can’t just show up at a lunch meeting in Brookings). Everything taking time away from something else, which in this case meant my family.

And I was feeling the stress. Nothing was getting my 100%. Heck a few things weren’t even getting 50%. It’s not who I want to be or who I want to share with the world.

I went into the SHRM conference thinking if I could just get through July, everything would be great. #Adulting But not really. I was at home the Saturday after, writing some blog posts from the event. Rocky had taken the girls to Watertown to see some relatives who were in town for the weekend. And the stress was weighing on me. And I opened my email and withdrew from the Mamma Mia show. It still makes me a little sad because it was fun. I would dread going, but have a blast when I got there. The relief I felt after sending the email wasn’t as lifting as I expected, but the further I’ve gotten from that moment, the more the relief is noticeable.

I was way over extended this summer. I didn’t have time to do Nothing, which is my family’s favorite thing to do together. I’m still having a busy summer, but I have now had a few nothing evenings. We’ve had nothing Sundays. And they are wonderful!

I was listening to Brene Brown on my way home tonight and she said whenever anyone asks her to do something, she has this mantra she says before she responds: “Choose discomfort over resentment.” Choose the minute of discomfort now over the hours/days of resentment you will feel later from saying yes. Be vulnerable enough to say yes. Be vulnerable enough to choose what’s important to you.


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